so it's been a few months since i last posted anything. not much to report i guess. well, false. a lot to report. but i don't really feel like revealing the world. i didn't end up going to beach project this summer. i had to retake a class. oh well. that's life. i do have to say that i've been learning a lot lately. and i've been stretched so much in the past month even. i've been confronting everything i believe and i've had to decide if i really do count those things as my priority. when something huge happens in your life, and the dust begins to settle, what's left? because i think we hold on to things that don't matter.

my sister Lindz and I were at Starbucks today and we were talking about idols in our lives. she explained idols in a way i've never heard before. she said that we all have a personal "hell". whether our hell is being alone, or being poor, or being ugly, we all have something that would be the worst thing in the world to us. and those "hells" usually indicate our idols. for the person whose hell is being alone, other people are their idol. for those who fear being poor, money and security are their idols. for those who fear being ugly, beauty and vanity might be the foxes in their fields. so whatever we cling to that isn't God is our idol. because if losing that thing makes our life a living hell, then that "thing" has entirely too much value. so i'm trying to delve into what my personal hell would look like, and then derive what my idols are from that hell. unfortunately, i can already figure around 4 personal hells. i guess idols have seeped in when i wasn't watching for them or guarding against them.

so, what is your personal hell? and what are your idols?